Are we having fun yet?

Shoot me now. Please? To recap:

Thursday, 4/12: Both girls have their annual physicals. The doctor agrees with me that Fizzgig has Celiac Disease. It's one thing to kinda think she does, entirely another to have a doctor tell me she has this. It seems so much more... final. Sigh.

Friday, 4/13: Fizzgig screams bloody murder till I take her *back* to the doctors. She has her first ear infection. Which developed in less than 24 hours.

Tuesday, 4/17: Grandma is disoriented and loopy. And phlegmy sounding. This happened last year when she got sick and became severely dehydrated. I wheel and deal and get her a doctor appointment for the next morning. And force fluids on her. Lots and lots. (She's fine now - just a cold the doctor said)

Wednesday, 4/18 (Today): Drama Princess has an ophthamology appointment. She failed her eye test big time and needs glasses. She starts screaming at the top of her lungs while the doctor is looking at her. Surprisingly? It didn't endear her to him. She's holding her ear. Really... can one induce ear aches by sheer will alone? Cause DP has been jonesin for her sister's pretty pink antibiotics from day one. Call the pediatrician, but they are closed for the day. It's only 3:30. They refer me to the Nighttime Pediatrics on Cedar Lane. (Wow! Those of you who have recommended them in the past? You are so right. They were amazing! And they gave my insurance some serious lovin'. )BUT they don't open until 5 pm. I drive there and sit in the parking lot while DP alternates between screaming and sleeping for 90 minutes.

DP has a double ear infection. I find out that I have pneumonia and a raging sinus infection.

Did I mention the fun?

Help me Obi Wan Kenobi

Okay, I have a task for ya'll. Ugh - Britney Spears has totally ruined that word for me. I have a task for all of you. (that soooo does *not* roll off the tongue) What is the single best time saving, how have I ever lived without it, OMG I don't care how much it cost it was worth it, item that will help in the cleaning of my house you have and will sing the praises of?

Maid service does not count because Maryland charges three times as much as Florida for the exact same service. I cannot. It's just wrong. Wrong!

I started Motivated Moms yesterday, but amazingly - my house did not clean itself. Now that I know *what* I should do, I need some help in actually *doing* it. So think of the single best cleaning item you own and hurry! (I think the dust bunnies are planning a coup)

Good Health, I hardly knew ye

Dahlia spiked a nasty fever last night and started hacking up parts of her lungs this morning. Maybe it was her spleen, I only took a semester or so of A&P so I'm not really sure. Out of the blue she came down with this. When I was sick a month back neither of the girls caught it at all. They have pretty decent immune systems. Buddha Butt too. If you even *think* of the word, "bronchitis" I will catch it.

I have a very wimpy respiratory system. Back when I was in fifth grade I caught pneumonia on a WindJammer cruise to the Bahamas. I had a minor cold when we left for the cruise and by the time we came back I sounded like Typhoid Mary. I remember my mom trying to make me suppress my coughing because she was worried they would quarantine me and not let me back into the States.

I had pneumonia for 9 months. My left lung was almost entirely fluid filled. I distinctly remember walking down the one stair between our dining room and the Florida room and having to sit down and rest for around 10 minutes because I was wiped out from the exertion. The pediatricians gave my mom the option to either put me in the hospital or take me to the doctors' office twice a week. She chose the office option. For 9 months. I recall finally becoming so deadened to having my blood drawn that I watched this ancient nurse rip open my vein from her shaking hand and I didn't even blink an eye as I watched the blood pool under my skin. Good times.

Since I didn't have the stamina to go trick or treating, the kids on my street pooled their Halloween candy and gave me this monster bag of goodies. I still clearly remember the feeling of shock and elation I felt when I answered the door and these goofy, grinning faces handed me my treat bag. And they would come to visit me through the window on my front porch and let me know what was going on in school - every little detail of boring assignments and juicy gossip. I wish I lived in a neighborhood like that now. I wish I could wave goodbye to my girls in the morning and know that they would come home for lunch and dinner and not have a clue where they were in between, but know that they were happy and safe - just like I had been.

So anyway, I have a very weak left lung now. I'm not holding my breath (or maybe I should and reject the tainted air) that I'm going to retain my tenuous hold of good health for much longer.

I'm just saying

I'm currently in a yahoo group dedicated to reading 'The Great Books'. These are the great works of Western civilization as outlined in Britannica Great Books of the Western World, edited by Mortimer Adler. We're reading the 54 volumes over a 7.5 year period. We just started Monday. Our first assignment was to read The Apology by Plato. I considered myself pretty well read, but I'm realizing the folly of that notion now.

Did any of you know that Socrates seriously kicks some ass? Why did no one tell me? Selfish hobbitsess. Go read it. It's Socrates' thoughts, but Plato's elegant writing. It's only around 19 pages and can be found online if you hunt for it. It's so... approachable. I thought it might be dry or intimidating or hopelessly boring - but it was truly fascinating. I'm not going to try and summarize here - I need to read it a few more times to really absorb it.

Oh, on a side note. I'm almost done with part 1 of Don Quixote! Cervantes also rocks.

I'll leave you with a quote from the book The Great Conversation: A Historical Introduction to Philosophy. "You don't want simply to be at the mercy of accident in your opinions - for your views to be decided by irrelevant matters such as whom you happen to know or where you were brought up. You want to believe for good reasons."

Fiver

We just started reading Watership Down together yesterday. The title was familiar to me, but for some reason I always thought it had something to do with naval battleships. So am I the only one who was surprised it was about bunny rabbits? I bookmooched it on the recommendation of the very wise book goddess that works at Borders on 175 in Columbia. People, this woman knows *every* book ever made. She's quite amazing. I always walk out of there with a stack of books when she happens to be working. I have no idea what her name is, though. I should probably learn that. So I can make an appropriate shrine to her in my basement or something.

We're taking a brief break in school right now and the children are playing rabbits. DP has the role of Fiver and Fizz is Hazel. DP was born to play Fiver. She's running around shrieking about premonitions of danger and blood. Lots of blood. Which pretty much is how she always roleplays, but at least now she has some literature backing her up. It's less creepy that way, isn't it? No, no, random person at the playground, she's not morbid, she's pretending she's that little bunny rabbit from Watership Down! Oh, how very erudite of her - not scary at all, play on!

Birthdaze

Fizzgig's birthday was last Wednesday and Drama Princess's is today. They are 4 and 6, respectively. Fizz got a cool, wooden retro kitchen (in pink, of course) and DP opened up her Easy Bake oven this morning. She already cleaned her pans and tools, baked four micro chocolate chip cookies and cleaned up her mess. I am already imagining breakfasts in bed.... mmmmm.... and visits from the nice, friendly firemen. "Hello again, Mrs. Zen - mini cookies again?" "Oh, no Mr. Firefighter, today it was eensy weensy macaroni and cheese." I also bought her an Easy Bake cookbook. Recipes that call for 2 T of flour, 1 t of sugar? Love it.

Things Every Vegetarian Mom Likes to Hear

I'm in the kitchen preparing myself something to eat. This is the conversation I hear coming from the dining room.

Drama Princess (mockingly): "I have five spines!"
Fizzgig (upset): "I only have 3 spines! Why do you have 5 spines?"
DP (evil):"Oh! What is this? I have seven spines!! And they're crunchy - mmmmmm."
F (crying): " I want 7 spines too! "
DP (annoyed): "Oh, stop crying. Here, you can have another spine."
F (happily):"Thanks! Ooooo, I have an eyeball? Is this an eyeball?"
DP (happily):"Lucky you! I think I have a tail, at least."

So what were they were eating? (this is an easy one)